Title: What to Do on a Date
Betas: betas: orphica and euphonious_glow
Summary: written for Prompt 1 at Ship Wars about Spock and McCoy going on their first date. It's very silly.
It was a relatively sedate day in sickbay, much to Dr. Leonard McCoy’s delight. The last mission had been hectic and this was a nice change of pace. So he was surprised when Spock came down to see him, as the Vulcan preferred to stay out of sickbay when he was healthy.
“What can I do for you, Spock?” Leonard asked.
There was a pause, imperceptible to those who didn’t know the Vulcan. “Doctor, would you join me in participating in several mutually agreeable activities this evening?”
“I will meet you at the atrium at 1800.”
There was silence as Leonard processed this. “Did you just ask me out on a date?”
Spock nodded. “Affirmative, doctor. I will see you later this evening.” Then he left as if he had said nothing unusual.
Leonard smirked to himself. Five months after the Narada and Spock was finally making a move. “Took you long enough, hobgoblin.”
At precisely 1800 hours Leonard strolled into the atrium, not sure what to expect. As he rounded a corner in the path he spotted Spock. The Vulcan was in jeans and a t-shirt and he held two bicycles.
“You look good, Spock. Don’t think I’ve ever seen you out of uniform.”
“Is my attire appropriate, doctor?”
“Depends on what we’re doing.”
“I believe,” Spock said, “that we shall start with a bike ride.”
“On the Enterprise?”
Leonard thought it would be strange, riding a bike through the ship’s atrium, but somehow it wasn’t. When riding, even at the sedate pace he and Spock were enjoying, the details of their forested surroundings blurred, leaving only impressions of green and other splashes of color. As long as he didn’t look skyward, Leonard could imagine he was on Earth cycling through the woods back home.
He felt a twinge of nostalgia; he and his father used to bike together, using the exercise as an excuse for manly bonding time. Leonard glanced over to Spock, admiring the movement of the Vulcan’s muscles as he pedaled and his easy grace.
Leonard was so busy watching Spock that it took him few moments to realize that Spock was talking to him. Apparently, Spock was lecturing on trees and their pollination methods in what was most likely the Vulcan’s attempt at a come-on. Leonard didn’t have the heart to tell Spock that the word “angiosperm” was not erotic at all but let him ramble; the Vulcan did have a beautiful voice.
Suddenly, Spock pulled over. Leonard stopped behind him, curious.
The Vulcan set down the kickstand. “Are you hungry?”
“I could eat a horse,” Leonard answered.
“Then come with me.” Spock led McCoy on foot further onto a small path winding through a copse of aspens. At the end of the path was a small pit for a campfire and several coolers.
“A picnic?” McCoy asked.
“I believe the correct terminology is ‘weenie roast,’ doctor.”
As Spock opened the coolers and brought out said weenies, Leonard started the fire. “I thought you didn’t eat meat.”
“I do not. I have made several weenies out of a soy substitute.”
Leonard snickered. “Call them hot dogs Spock or we’re never getting through this date.”
They made light conversation as they roasted dinner. It was nice having an intelligent conversation for once that didn’t involve infectious diseases. Spock was pleasant company and seeing the minute changes in his face as he discussed something that interested him made Leonard’s cheeks warm.
The hot dogs themselves were delicious definitely not replicated. “These are really good.”
“I, too, find them enjoyable but why are they called weenies?” Spock asked.
Leonard raised an “are you seriously asking me that” eyebrow. “That’s what they’re shaped like, Spock.”
“Not of what they are made?”
McCoy recoiled, horrified. “Hell no, there’d be a lot of disappointed heifers out there if that were true.”
In hindsight, having to administer the Heimlich maneuver on a suddenly choking Vulcan was not the highlight of the evening.
They were in the rec room watching the foosball tournament when Leonard finally asked, “Spock, what are we doing?”
“Are you not enjoying yourself, Leonard?”
“Yeah, I am.” Especially since I’m with you, was what he left unspoken. “But why the hell are we watching these guys play foosball?”
Spock stiffened in his seat. “There were no other sporting events available and I thought this would be an adequate substitute.”
“Spock, why would we need to see a sporting event?” Leonard drawled.
“It is a part of the courtship ritual.”
“Really?” Leonard shook his head. “Listen, dinner and a movie is traditional but all this is downright odd. Make no mistake, I’ve had a good time but where the hell did you get these ideas?”
“I asked the captain about dating rituals and he referred me to some instructional films.”
Spock pulled out a small PADD. His fingers flew over the keyboard, then he handed the device over to Leonard.
The “instructional film” was entitled “What to Do on a Date,” and it was from the 50s. The 1950s. There were also little silhouettes at the bottom making snarky comments.
“Spock, I think Jim was screwing with you.”
The Vulcan leaned back, scandalized. “This is not an instructional film?”
“Yes, but not from this century. And I don’t think these guys on the bottom came with the original.”
“I see.” Spock looked away from Leonard. “The captain was trying to make me look foolish.”
“Jim is an infant. He just wanted to tease you.” He cupped the Vulcan’s cheek in his hand. Spock raised his eyes to meet Leonard’s. “Spock, I’ve had an enjoyable evening. Thank you.”
He pressed a chaste kiss to Spock’s lips.
Spock leaned into the kiss, his mouth opening to deepen it. Leonard pulled back, face flushed. “Not on a first date, Spock.”
Spock didn’t miss the offer. “Meet me in the atrium tomorrow evening?”
Leonard laughed. “It’s a date.”